Thursday, March 13, 2014


Our Dear Leader's Minister for International Diplomas is threatening Russia if it doesn't take steps. I'm not sure what his plan is for our next step. Do we cancel our participation in the Olympics now or do we send the Marines to Crimea, invade, push back the endless Russian hordes right there on the Central Steppes of Asia and restore peace, freedom and the Egyptian way, or do we just nuke them?

Who are we supposed to attack if Scottish separatists vote to secede from the United Kingdom? Do we send our boys to invade Scotland? England? Canada? The entire EU? Should we buy an ocean of red paint so we can get ready to draw those lines now? Maybe, you know, get a discount?

Seriously Kerry, it's undignified to see you thrashing around like this. Would you consider staying home for a couple of years and letting things take the course they're going to take without making a buffoon out of yourself and by extension, us?

Do you think the EU is with you on this gamble into a war with Asia? You do know they get 30% of their fuel and gas from Russia and that they are still enjoying the depths of unrestrained Global Warming right now. They probably would like you to reconsider threatening their heating supplies.

Still, our Dear Leader and the Hillary will need you to play the role of Ana Pauker next year. Evil regimes need people like you John Kerry.

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