Saturday, December 9, 2017

Friday, December 8, 2017

IMAGINE CARRYING THE MAIL

IF, I had a time machine. I really like history. I'd delve around the neartime and then reach into the deep time before english or french and find myself dead. I don't speak the lingo. My brother-in-law thinks he knows attic greek and I tell him his office is in the attic and he doesn't. I once found myself on a bus to Cadiz with a much more senior officer who swore he knew spanish. We went to a lot of places before we got to Cadiz, which was closed for the day, because Sunday. Not in a hurry to go there again.




The Fall of Civil life happened once and I regret to see it happening again today. The so-called refugees and migrants are bringing the death of civilization with them and as with Rome, none can see it.

And yes, I posted it once but I think it is worth watching again and so should you.



Oh, and two women in my life have now sent me copies of Ancillary Justice. If they weren't relatives I'd hope I run out of women who want to send me a book I'll never ever read. Ever.

ADEPT PEACE KILLERS

I kept hearing this again and again today as if peace there was something that was in our hand to give.



Wednesday, December 6, 2017

THE PHONE SLAVE

I see a lot of people who propel  themselves about the nation and drop whatever they're doing when their phone rings. I tend to laugh.

I've been living here for 6 years and I could not tell you what the house phone number is and, to be honest, should I ever learn it, I won't ever tell anybody else what the number is.

I have a cell phone I bought in the last century, I think. It is still a San Diego # and I get random calls with messages announcing the end of the universe if the wrong number guy doesn't instantly return the call.  It goes without saying, I don't bother.

I remember one worthwhile time management course I sat through and the only think I took away from it was never ever answer somebody else's phone. Don't do it.

I had a new boss who was in my office and was trying to puzzle out what my exact role was in the world before time, back when I was running things and we sure as hell didn't have patrol boat officers who surrendered to Iranian surfboards armed with a Persian and a gun. The phone was ringing in the office as we conversed and he wanted to know why I wasn't answering it because, 'dammit, the phone is ringing'! 

He was an 05 and I was on 03 at the time and I said, 'why don't you answer it?' It wasn't my phone.

I remember my last conversation with him, many years later, when he was commodore and I was a CO and he asked me if I was going to go to Congress about the issue we were talking about and my answer was, maybe. The phone was right there on his desk.

I answer the phone once a day. That seems to be enough.

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

IT WAS THE KNIVES

I saw this picture at Daily Time Waster and it brought back a memory of attending the Expeditionary Warfare Conference in Panama City. I was greatly entertained by the Army general from TRADOC who got up and gave his speech while weaving in two or three other threads as he talked about training and doctrine. He babbled on very happily and without any hint of PowerPoint and introduced us to the Chief of Staff Army of the United States, who, after the War Between the States, decided that something had to be done about the multiplicity of knives that the soldiers were forced to carry.



He helpfully listed them: gutting knife, skinning knife, bayonet, hunting knife, hoof knife, oh there were a lot of knives in the Army of 1870, and working with others, he set out to reduce the number to the essential knife.

As a tiny detour he then talked about the wonderful breech loading rifle the Army had just equipped its soldiers with and what a marvel of technology it was. It was new and cool and the Army had perhaps fired as many as 100 rounds out of any of those shiny new rifles when they shipped a load out west to equip General Custer's 7th Cavalry. Everybody was impressed with the shiny new rifle and promptly tossed the old guns.

At this point, he detoured once again and talked about some really smart Germans in 1914 who invented a railroad gun that could shoot up targets over the horizon. The Germans carefully took into account the curvature of the earth, the atmospheric density, the wind and just about every other thing that could turn a ballistic solution into a miss and they even calculated the wear and tear on the bore of the gun and had made precision shells for the gun that would, as the bore wore down, increase in size and so still achieve the precise muzzle velocity that would let them hit targets in France.

Now the general was not anti-technology. That's not TRADOC's job. He just liked history and liked to talk.

The upshot of course is that when Custer and his bit of cavalry got to Wounded Knee and found every single armed indian in the West and started to use those new rifles, they found that the brass shells had a nasty tendency to split which fouled the breech and basically left the cavalrymen with some very expensive clubs. Because, the Army had also come through on the Army Combat Knife which was, as usual, one size fits all and could be used to cook, dig latrines and pick stones out of horse's hoof but which, in the event, was way to big to be used to dig out the little pieces of brass bullet that had been stripped off by the extractor when the guns fired their 101st round and the barrel had heated up and nobody knew the extractor suffered a fatal heat casualty because nobody had test fired the guns until they got that hot because, after all, how many indians could there be?

We were all laughing at this point but, it wasn't really anything to laugh at and those of us who were program managers decided to take another look at what we were building for the fleet or the Army and maybe make sure we weren't repeating an old mistake.

Germany's Prince of somewhere was inspecting the giant gun which was fired twice and he admired how the 1200 men it took to man and fire the gun went about the task with precision. The gun fired two rounds and stopped. The Prince asked the gunnery commander what he hit over the curve of the earth and the German commander was kind of stymied. He had no idea. He knew what they were aiming at but since they could not actually observe the fall of the shot, didn't know if they hit it.

A junior staff officer told the Prince and the general that if he gave him until morning he could tell them where the shells landed. He then got on a bike and cycled a few miles closer to the target city and waited patiently until the French delivered the morning newspapers which went in to some detail about the damage in the city caused by mysterious explosives that appeared to have come out of nowhere.

You know we have now an entire useless class of destroyer. The damned things cost billions of dollars and are practically worthless because they don't do air defense and the amazing scientifical gun they were built to carry costs as much to fire as it costs to open the Stargate. Every round costs as much as an actual Tomahawk missile and so, of course, Congress said it wasn't going to buy any of those things because the Navy would just waste them.

We have an F-35 which is the all-in-one cheapo fighter that was going to replace everything in the air and be cheaper than the ridiculously expensive F-22 which, as you know, actually seems to have come in at about half the fly-away cost of one F-35 but was considered unaffordable at the time.

We really need to take the Department of Defense down to the river and throw in all their current program managers. They can be like our modern version of witches. If any of them float we know they're a witch and we can dry them off and burn them at the metal stakes we'll erect in the Mall.

SHARK SCREAMS

Stolen ruthlessly from the bayou dude's place because it's just that funny and I've always said fishing is dangerous.

Monday, December 4, 2017

FAKING IT

I was led to a column in the Washington Post today that indicated that Sessions was really doing an awesome job at Justice even though he was all alone and surrounded by progressives who like to sue nuns for not providing abortions. It took me a couple of seconds to realize where the drizzle of praise for Sessions was coming from.

Found it!
But despite a dearth of confirmed assistant attorneys general and other aides, Mr. Sessions has largely succeeded in shutting down much of the Obama-era leftism that was so alive in the Justice Department when he got there and setting it on a Reagan-like path.
In a front-page story just last week, a Washington Post headline announced that “While eyes are on Russia, Sessions dramatically reshapes the Justice Department,” going on to say that “the attorney general has been among the most effective of the Cabinet secretaries — implementing Trump’s conservative policy agenda even as the president publicly and privately toys with firing him over his decision to recuse himself from the Russia case.”
If you hit the link you'll find yourself at the Washington Times. For some reason, the Washington Times is now quoting the Washington Post in its stories. I suspect that the Times has by now been fully co-opted and is part and parcel of the media giant that reliably furnishes this country with fake news.

It's kind of saddening that if I want to read reliable, accurate, honest news, I have to read the UK Daily Times. Say what you will, if I want a report that includes the who, what, where, when, I have grown accustomed to looking for it in the British papers because our journalists are unfamiliar with the concept of reporting the news.

Sessions has not done anything right in his current job. Making a major play to squash drug dealers when most of the states have all moved forward and legalized one of the controlled narcotics because there is no way to keep the people from buying grass is just a part of his failure to come to terms with actual law enforcement.  No no, I'm not urging him to act on grass. It's a slippery slope, he's an old man and I'm sure he'd slip and do himself an injury if he tried. I'm just saying,  The country would get a kick out of an Attorney General who actually made a point of going after the big time criminals like Hillary, Cheryl Mills, etc and threw them in jail after a SPEEDY trial.

Why the hell does it take these guys years to make a case a child could have made in a week? It's not like they even ever intend to go to court but they assure us all that justice and it's wheels are finely grinding to the truth of the matter and that the guilty shall be punished. I'll believe it when Hillary is in federal prison for countless violations of the National Security laws she didn't think applied to her, her friends, her assistants, her computers, her email, her servers. She exploited national security the way Bill Clinton exploited interns.

Saturday, December 2, 2017

MOTIV8

Guy I used to know had that as his license plate. He was a SEAL.

I wondered tonight, after a wonderful night out, just how does a modern day football coach motivate a whole flock of prima donna millionaires he can't fire, can't send to Iraq, can't torture/torment or send to Cuba, when his peers all agree that they can't make the lousy little dirtbags stand up for the national anthem? It does pose a question.

What does it take to get the 'average' man on the Cleveland Browns to stand up and actually play football? I don't know and I don't care as the famous Carl used to say. More intrinsically, what made the Cavs win against the Golden shower when any and all observers could see that one set of men were playing as a team that knew how to pass, advance, score and rebound and the other team had never been introduced to the idea of playing as a team?

Just some late night thoughts before I start my zen moment of cleaning a floor.

Friday, December 1, 2017

PLAY THE MAN RIDLEY

It is, I suppose, fitting, for the general  to go the flames for the boss.

With this boss, I expect a reprieve but I've been wrong before.

Thursday, November 30, 2017

THE VERY BEST FAKE NEWS

We shall see.


Mind you, as a Knight Bachelor of Solana Beach, I used to buy the Sunday version for $5.00 at my local book shop and read it at the Stratford cafe. I read it from cover to cover and thought about 30% was worth it, for the book review that was in it. Nowadays, if I get linked to any article with the Times logo at the top, I simply stop and delete. They parted company with real news, real facts, real issues in 1917, but I'm a stayer.

Not so much anymore. If I see that fancy little T at the top, I stop. It doesn't make me angry but it is just like AP. If I want to read a story where all the facts are left out, I can read Ellery Queen.

If you look at the photo shot, can you imagine, how President Trump plays these guys like a master guitarist?

Yeah, they don't get that either.

ORDER OF THE DAY

I'm done. Fed up with "he touched me" stories from decades ago.

It really truly is the Salem witch again and again. At some point, we'll go back to Amerika and civilization and safe spaces will once again be a place where a little girl named Anne lived until the real, no kidding, nazis came to kill her and her family.

I'm so tired of the fake nazis. Doesn't mean I want real nazis.

FOAD LITTLE MAN

I don't really see law in this particular case.  People bought the property legally, fairly, in an upfront and transparent fashion and I'm not aware of any law that says some bunch of plutocrats can vote in council to just revoke it because their minions fuc'ed up and followed policy and put it up for sale like a boat, or a house, or a car, or an apartment building that the city had seized.

San Francisco Insists that this is theirs!!!
A couple of people buy a road in Baghdad on the Bay that was offered for sale by the city of San Francisco. They paid the money and they got the property almost a year ago. The Illuminati who live on the street are outraged and do what the Illuminati do and told their lickspittles in city hall to "DO SOMETHING! YOU MORONS!@!!!"


I'm not exactly sure how the City/County of Stu[id Fulx can obviate and neuter and transgender a transfer of deed/title, just because of the 'eewwwww it smells' in it.

I enjoy watching the pant suited velociraptors going after the entrepreneur. As you know, in the movies? They mostly win.

I will leave it as an exercise for the student to determine who I mean by "they". Good luck.

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

ALL KINDS OF AWESOME

The link vanished for years and yet suddenly, tonight, there it is. These are incredible gymnasts. I was awed by their performance throughout that Olympics. Amazing feats.

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

DENIZENS OF THE NETHER WORLD

I was reading along and ran across this:
In the few areas where Trump conceivably differed from his 16 primary Republican rivals—immigration, trade, and foreign policy—the 20th-century Republican/conservative orthodoxy was actually closer to Trump’s positions than to those of recent Republican nominees, John McCain or Mitt Romney.
I kind of like the sound of it but I mislaid the link. President Trump was not the candidate coughed up by a corrupt Party apparatus, he was the guy who went toe to toe again and again against some real heavy-weight rethuglican party powers and he kicked their asses.

People didn't just choose to elect the chief thuglican after a knife fight. There was one party of ideas that spilled out of 16 candidates and there is this other party of two ideas with just the 1 candidate. As a side note, Bernie was the Socialist Party running as a democrat. 

Hillary was a velociraptor in a pantsuit and behaved like it. 60 million people, not necessarily Americans, voted for the velociraptor. And still all them wonder just what kind of thug wouldn't vote for a velociraptor in a pantsuit.

It's kind of scary, John Kerry or slimyJoe Biden could have won that race and be the president now. How grotesquely awful was Hillary, the nominee of her corrupt regime, her corrupt Party apparatus, her corrupt media and the corrupt grabby Hollywood powers, that she couldn't scare enough people into voting for her, or, more honestly, steal the election with the invisible voter fraud that doesn't exist?

I see Congressman John Conyers (D-Corruption/Judiciary Committee) used our money to pay off the women he harassed for decades. How bloody typical. 
"No, no Miss Amway, we didn't use 'your' tax dollars to buy a bomber. We gave your tax dollars to the countless women who accused democratic congressmen of harassing them, for the public good that was in it."
I used to have a job that required me to know the federal budget inside out. I used THOMAS.GOV all the time and I still hardly ever find the actual money appropriation I needed. Still, those Congressional @ssholes probably hid the budget line for paying off harassment and rape claims in the black budget, which wasn't in THOMAS.

On the other hand, if you want to get angry at something else, there's always the incredible F-35.


Monday, November 27, 2017

LOOKS PRETTY HEALTHY TO ME

From the usual source of mal-science and bad-information comes the latest food safety trolling from the New York Times.

The report sounds pretty bleak.
If you are already elbow-deep in holiday cake and cookie batter, you may just want to take your chances and stop reading here.

Tasting uncooked foods made with flour can make you dangerously ill, according to a study published Wednesday in The New England Journal of Medicine. The report, which recounts the detective work that led to a recall of more than 10 million pounds of flour in the summer of 2016, confirms that a type of E. coli bacteria previously discovered lurking in wet environments like hamburger meat and leafy vegetables can also thrive in arid hosts.
 Dr. Neill called their work “absolutely dogged.” Researchers went through tiers of inquiry, asking patients about their food-prep and eating around the time they became ill. Tasting raw baking dough was a common factor. 
In addition to refraining from tasting uncooked flour dishes, she advised people to wash their hands in hot, soapy water after handling flour,...
It certainly looks dangerous to me
Ms. Chang, winner of the 2016 James Beard Award for Outstanding Baker, carefully sifted through her own risk analysis. At last she broke the news to some of her bakers. 
“They all laughed at me,” she said.

Sunday, November 26, 2017

YOU CAN KISS IT GOODBYE

I sometimes visit a website that was on the blogroll of Lex. I went there just now and learned that the website of the man that first got me interested in blogging has been overtaken and that the link to http://www.neptunuslex.com/ has been hijacked and vanished. To be honest, I expected that to happen many years ago.



The weblink leads to some sort of gaming site, and finding it tonight reminds me to check those on my own blogroll who have left the building. I'm pretty sure I don't need to send my handful of readers to the equivalent of:


Ted Burge is famous for many of his insights but this one remains:


Still and all, it must have been a wrenching decision to let go.

Go with God, Lex.

Saturday, November 25, 2017

TAKING A STICK TO TIME

There is a wonderful "moment of truthiness" in a pair of twits that showed up today. It speaks volumes about Time Magazine. They've joined Newsweek in missing just about every single particle of "real as opposed to fake news" since midway through the Vietnam War. They made up the news for at least a generation, my generation. I haven't believed them since I was a paperboy in Newport, RI over 40 years ago.

What they don't make up they simply ignore or twist to suit their imperatives to support the DNC. I suspect there hasn't been a peep about any of the sexual harassment accusations launched against democrats for the last 3 weeks. It's like there's no story there.


Friday, November 24, 2017

SAVE THE DARK

Act now before the whole world is bathed in the actinic light of a trillion LEDs!

It's not too late to save it, all you have to do is stop lighting the dark.

North Korea is leading the charge on this new front in war on global science and darkness.


Wednesday, November 22, 2017

DID HE SAY HITLER

I have long been a fan of the modern Saki, but his last column convinces me that he lost his mind after he left Asia.

He got just about every single thing wrong.
Unlike many of my conservative friends, I thought Merkel the lesser evil ("A deplorable vote for Angela Merkel," February 2017). Merkel is an American ally; whoever might replace her will be more eager to cut deals with Russia. Perhaps at some future date the Alternative für Deutschland might become part of a natural majority along with the Christian Democrats and Free Democrats, but it first needs to purge leaders like its Vice-Chairman Alexander Gauland, a Putin crony who thinks Americans are "a people thrown together at random without their own culture." There are some very good people in the second-tier leadership of the Alternative party, but they have their work cut out for them.
Amerika finally pulled out of Germany after occupying it for over half a century because it was just so damned ridiculously dangerous and Europeans, by and large, are as flagrantly incompetent as you can get in an era of nuclear bombs and ICBMs. No, read the sentence the way it was written. We left because the Cold War was over.

Angela Merkel, hardline commie ruler right out of East Germany is a "friend" of the United States? When did that happen? More importantly, who cares? Who wants a friend like that?

Somebody else wants to cut deals with Russia? For money?!!!  Call the DNC!!!!!

Spengler has room for doubt. What europeans have been saying for the last 20 years is now starting to drive policy and it is, once again, time for the old policy people who think they have a divine right to rule, to step aside. "They can't," people say, because without the Kaiser chaos will walk the streets.
As it happens, I think people have had enough of the "experts" and Ivy League rulers who know so much more than us.

Yeah, Europe is going to be faced with its perennial problem again in the near future. But if there is one group gauranteed to be able to hide a few million corpses, I'd say europe can. They got good at it the last time we turned our back on them and their little issues.

Sunday, November 19, 2017

COIN OF THE REALM

I remember when I could still find these dimes in circulation. I was little then and never found a Liberty dollar outside in the wild. Our coins used to be beautiful. Then we stuck dead presidents on them and they lost their luster.





Friday, November 17, 2017

JERSEY SHARK CONSUMES UNLUCKY BRAZILE BATHER

Poor Donna. Gone just like that. Sort of like Vince Foster who was eaten by a shark in a park in DC.

Darned sharks.

Just saying.

sharks.

DEATH WATCH 2000

Donna Brazile, still alive. Castro wonders. Franco welcomes her to the undead.

REMEMBER WHEN

For me, it was one of the early Star Trek movies when Shatner and the vulcan were on a city bus in the Bay Area and wanted that jerk to turn down the insanely loud ghetto blaster boom box and, being white, he told them to get lost. That's what we white people do. Still, I found this today on my blogroll and while technology can take the ghetto blaster out of the ghetto, it can still offer a stylish alt.

Srsly, could those ear pieces be bigger? Sure they could!!!! They need some bakelite!!!!


Some people, used the vulcan ear clips for awhile and then cringed to death in shame a few years later and some of us use tiny little earbuds and so appear insane to those who cannot hear the music.  This guy is gunning for Sky Captain or Sky Admiral. OTOH, he made a good point well and held up in a debate wtih what passes for a high school teacher these days,

You know, I kind of miss the old days when centaurs were hired to instruct the young.

THE SCARIEST THING EVER

Those of us who experienced The Andromeda Strain, Soylent Green, and a host of other Charlton Heston movies can probably appreciate this article from The Atlantic. I say that and mean it because people who didn't see those end of the world apocalypse movies don't really understand how mankind can end itself, overnight, accidentally, without even trying. Frank Herbert wrote a scary book about this and leaves people like Atwood in the shade when they imagine a future horror that could be.

We now have people who are seriously talking about engineering a genetic kill specific to a particular predator that they dislike, a lot. They propose to kill it to death in a small place using a tool like the black plague and nothing bad ever happens when fools or governments use weapons of mass destruction to kill a housefly problem.

I was reading the latest research on global extinction events. It turns out the planet did it. All the nonsense about asteroids killing the dinosaurs, or smoking....is piffle. It looks like vulcanism did it and it did it again and again and again and I just wish global warmists would step into a busy street and look up. I'm so tired of them and the rest of people who confidently predict that if we just adopt a little bit of socialism and send just a handful of deserving scum to the gulag, life will be perfect and go on forever and ever..

Right now, at this moment, we have the power and the tech to make a gene that can be unleashed on the planet, spread around it in days and can be tailored to kill very specific entities. I'm a specific entity. The world won't even know what hit it. It will be the Spanish influenza on steroids but pointed at very specific targets.

I can think, offhand, of a dozen organizations that would do it in a heartbeat and I know people who could make it happen. If you read, have a look at John Ringo's books on zombies. I'll give you the money quote from the endnotes.
The same can be said of biotechnology. I recall a friend who worked in the Tropical and Emerging Diseases Lab, a Class Four Facility (highest contagion) located on the UGA campus and associated with the CDC who's team was attempting in the early Millenia to build a virus following the prescription of the first person to do so from scratch. They tried time and time again to replicate it and were unable. 
In 2005, five years later, a Newsweek reporter, buying materials from EBAy, did the same thing, literally, in his kitchen. (With Spanish Flu no less. He was later fired as was the editor who approved the story since they LAID OUT THE ENTIRE RECIPE!) 
That is how fast biotech advances. Moore's Law, to some extent or another, applies to all emerging technologies. One day it takes a genius, the next day anybody with the right IQ and background finds it to be child's play. 
Second point: A few years ago, at a bio conference in London, a researcher proudly stood up and showed that his lab had proven they could create an infection that would infect a vast swath of population (choose species, genus, phylum or family) but only kill ONE INDIVIDUAL based upon that individual's DNA. 
When he asked for questions one member of the audience stood up and proclaimed:
"We've known that in (university research center) for the last five years but we were never STUPID enough to speak about it in PUBLIC!" At which point things became shouty. 
By the same token, one can create a pathogen that will infect a vast population, but only target certain races. And, yes, there are clear markers to target race for values of race. It's a term of art in biology, not a term of politics. Westphailians, for example, have distinct genetic markers. Now, Westphalians are MOSTLY still found in Westphalia but the markers are found in a huge population elsewhere (especially the US.) But Negroid? Easy. Han Chinese. Very easy. Jewish. (Racially.) Blonde. (See Live Free Or Die) Etc. 'Northern European' (white) is just as easy. Choose your target or immune population. But be careful. You may not understand your population a well as you think. (The 'crazy' president of Iran is genetically turk but most of his supporters are fars which is a variant of Northern European.)
We are beginning to play with fire and those leading the charge introduced one killer after another into a gene pool with no natural predators except those enormous salt water crocodiles which the birds could see coming a million miles away.

You just know human extinction is going to be done by some dorks that just wanted to make a better world. Which, you know, brings Serenity to mind.


Wednesday, November 15, 2017

HEY MITCH

You are starting to look just like Eric Cantor or John whatever his name was.

Why don't you try to pretend for a little while to be something like the people who sent you to DC?

DONNA BRAZILE KILLED IN FREAK ACCIDENT!

There. I thought I'd help the losers at the New York Times and Washington Post with their headline.

I DIDN'T KNOW IT

I was pruning my mail stacks and saw this news release. Imagine, London in 1945 responding to the German V2s with anti-missiles and nobody ever told you. I thought that only Israel was under daily attack from the muslim missile hordes. Who knew? Yeah man!! If the shites had the bomb they'd use it in a lunar month or less. It's in their nature to kill and let their god sort them all out.

More to the point, it kind of points out why the crown prince of saudi has suddenly upped the game internally to bring his country to a war-footing and stopped pussy footing around with the hardline muslim losers who have been running the kingdom for the last thousand years. It's about power and nobody in the Gulf cares anymore at all about the wisdom of the god as propounded by a bunch of vicious rabid old men.


Tuesday, November 14, 2017

OH BOG

You just know that they are going to appoint some hack lawyer like, oh I don't know, Weinstiein's lead counsel, as Special faux Prosecutor and it will be over and done in a month with a no harm/no foul investigation. If they can't get that lying dirtbag it will be one of Hillary's lead lawyer friends like Cheryl Mills or Comey.


At this second, I cannot think of a single person who that spineless jackass Sessions could appoint with any hope of justice.

Oh, yeah, sure, him. That guy would weld those fuckers to their crimes but no recent former employees of the Department of Faux Justice are allowed by the likes of the cronies who all conspire to run what we laughingly call the Department of Justice.

The guy I'm thinking of, sounds like, rhymes with Christian?

Sessions will do this when HELL freezes over. He's not the leading political pussy of the millennium without good reason.

I suspect that about 1 reader sees the wordplay sometimes. I'm only guessing. Almost nobody ever comments on it. If I worked for a boss utterly concerned with the bottom line and concerned about the misuse and abuse of electrons, I'd persist. I'm persistent.

Monday, November 13, 2017

I CAN SEE WHY THE ARMY GAVE UP

I didn't bother to read the article about the Army deciding to let in more criminally insane or simply insane losers like the one the Air Force hired who went on to massacre 26 people and shoot another 27 because he felt like it after they decided to do the sane thing and kick him out. I mean, why bother?

Drudge pretty much nailed it in the usual fashion. These are who the Army thinks belong in the Army, alongside their Air Force brethren because, "hey! who says you have to be normal to fit in?"


Juxtapose leads to ontology or whatever.....

WHY WE HAVE ROPE

I saw this at another blog and thought about it for a second. It's true. I too, never voted in another California election after this happened but then, my vote never counted there and by the time the primaries reached us, the country had already winnowed it down to one die-hard commie and one loser moron. It really wasn't worth the trouble, but most especially after Prop. 8 got tossed AFTER THE PEOPLE VOTED FOR IT.

Just remember when people tell you elections matter that it is your duty to vote for the party that doesn't always use the courts to legislate. Why would you give up all your power as a voter to a non-elected lawyer who finds penumbras or whole-heartedly believes in discrimination now! Discrimination tomorrow! Discrimination for 20 more years!

Srsly people, it's time to take back the power of the people. Imagine, you let an Ethics Body of this Congress or the last 10 Congresses, toss out the will of the voter because a handful of politicians held that the voters had elected an unethical man. It's not like THEY EVER DID.

Vote for Ray Moore or don't. I don't care. I just despise the way the democrats keep leaping to any and every way to disenfranchise the voters. It's not enough that they encourage their true believers to shoot and kill republicans, they keep wanting to use law to make republicans ineligible to play in politics.


Friday, November 10, 2017

SOME KIND OF MARINE DAY

I don't usually tell Marine stories. They seldom put the Marines in a good light and that puts them with my SEAL stories. There but for the grace of God and having 2 brain cells to rub together.....

I flew down to Qatar and made a solemn promise to the Commander of the Qatari Defense Force that our little NAVCENT exercise would touch like a feather on his emirate. He and the other ministers believed me when I told them that we would send the offload preparation party on the two ships and there would be almost no footprint ashore. Silly me.

Went to the next planning conference, the MPC (the middle one, you see, not like the Initial One) and certainly, by God nothing like the Final Planning Conference. At the middle one, we had the son of the former Commandant of USMC. He was the CENTCOM planner out of McDill. It was a very laid back conference but included a rep from the 1/5th.  Take note of him. He shows up at the FPC where all the skids are greased, the ways prepared, and we sort of tend to follow through on our promises.

Regrettably, at the FPC the first of the fifth gets up and states that he will obviously need to deploy 289 Marines to provide security for the ships and the OPP. I asked the bozo what happened to the old adage that "every Marine is a rifleman" and thus could be construed as self-guarding.

I went back for the exercise. Flew down there on the C-12 with the VADM and we had a look. No footprint ashore, no touch, won't even notice us and we ended up with something like 400 people ashore with every cop in the country guarding our watch relief convoys running from Camp Snoopy all the way to the port we were using. And back, 3 times a day, for two weeks.

I was once trapped in Qatar for 2 weeks by the machinations of our EOD det and the idiocy of one of the masters of one of our MSC furnished Army War Reserve Prepositioned Afloat Ships. I've never been back. I suspect that the general has my name on his terrorist watch list and I won't like it if I ever go back.

Happy Birthday USMC.

LATIN QUARTER

Just because it's Friday and you deserve it.



Did I mention, I like it.

Thursday, November 9, 2017

AN UNTROUBLED SEA

Here is how we like to see our warships. Without so many dings in them please.

Doing Something Right. Not Run Down and Golden Anchor


Mind you, I watched in awe as a new skipper, driving his frail little ship for the first time, managed to put a dent in USS Wainwright which was freshly back in port after killing an Iranian warship. Pretty bold move I told the captain. After that, he was keen to let me drive the ship in close. I was OK with that. I like to drive.

It's nice to see a warship of ours with a bone its teeth. Too often these days I see them poking in and out of port at 5 knots, saving fuel like they're the complete incarnation of doofus Jimmy Carter.

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

I KEEP DOING IT

Because it's just a matter of time. Donna will be dead in a week or two. It's the Clinton/Democrat way.


Come on, admit it. When is the last time you heard of any Clinton namer other than Trump who remained alive this long? Go on and wonder that Trump has hired and retained his own secret protection because he has more smarts than to trust Hillary's penetration of the pathetic remains of what was once the useless Secret Service who seem to have allowed just about every single Republican President to be shot by killers.

I'm not all that sure that shooting Hillary or Pelosi in the head would "do them an injury". Just sayin.

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

THE PINOCCHIO PARTY

I agree, they need to go further to the left and just announce that they want the one ring so they can bind us in the darkness and rule us all. Maybe then the idiots who sort of want what Chavez did to Venezuela, Castro did to Cuba and Stalin did to Russia and eastern Europe can find their way to rule us all, in the darkness, forever and ever.

They reject even the simplest law of supply and demand. They don't see how wages go down when more people compete for fewer jobs.

They're so ignorant they don't even know when their leaders are lying. They just assume that they hear truth whenever Hillary opens her mouth.



NAILED IT

He usually makes excellent points. There is one here that stands out. It always stands out. When it comes time to defend yourself, there really is nobody else to do that. You stand alone.

Monday, November 6, 2017

HILLARY MOURNS BRAZILE

It will happen. I just wonder what wonderful epxlanation they will come up with to describe how poor Donna came to leave this vale of tears so suddenly and unexpectedly. I'm sure the press will think of something appropriate to explain how she came to snuff herself by shooting herself in the back 47 times while pausing only twice to reload. If the press loses their mojo for malsplaining democrat executions they can always call in the Air Force Office of Special Investigations or the Army CID. Their penchant for describing literally every death as a suicide is as versatile and universal as it's possible to be. And nobody believes them, either.


JUSTICE DEPARTMENT INVESTIGATING CLINTON

If we could have seen it, this is how the FBI looked when it was investigating Hillary Clinton and her little problem with running her own Top Secret server where she conveniently gave all our secrets away to the Russia, China, Brazil, Mongolia and Venezuela.

Sunday, November 5, 2017

THE FUN OF HALLOWEEN

It brushed the airwaves from John Carroll University's radio station about 2 weeks ago. It caught me on the road. For no reason at all, I enjoy it. Not so much the video but the music and imagery. Share and enjoy.

Saturday, November 4, 2017

THE SAD TRUTH

It has no idea it's dead yet

ATTENTION DESTROYERMEN

This in an important safety announcement for those tasked with driving our cruisers and destroyers as President Trump begins his 12 day visit to the Far East to rally allies and deter the NORKS and China.

Keep the aircraft carrier well in front of you where you can see it at all times.  

Very important addendum: Stay well back since carriers in front of you will often back down at full power for no readily apparent reason. Be prepared to break right or break left as your whimsy takes you in order to dodge the ship behaving strangely.

Posted 6/30/2017
PACIFIC OCEAN (June 29, 2017) Ships assigned to Carrier Strike Group 5 sail in formation during a live-fire gunnery exercise. The aircraft carrier USS Ronald Reagan (CVN 76) is the flagship of Carrier Strike Group 5, providing a combat-ready force that protects and defends the collective maritime interests of its allies and partners in the Indo-Asia-Pacific region. (U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Nathan Burke)

Failure to understand the dangers inherent in maneuvering warships in a briskly traded sea or in the vicinity of aircraft carriers comes with an enormous penalty and a lifetime of regret. Pay attention!



The price for getting in front of carriers or very large merchant ships steaming at 21 knots is well known by now. All of us ship drivers used to watch the famous "eye ball it in" video. The picture above, which google will not allow me to caption, is all that remains of the USS FRANK E EVANS after it strayed in front of HMAS MELBOURNE. It was MELBOURNE's second ship kill after slicing one of Australia's destroyers in half a few years earlier.

I know, being radical and actually doing the job the Navy trained you to do is an eye opener after a couple of tours ashore and a year in Afghanistan or Iraq as an involuntary powerpoint engineer to some Army general's staff, but focus. The lives of the men and women sleeping in their berths tonight depend on you doing your job. Nobody else is directly responsible for them waking up safe and sound at reveille. That's the job of the Officer of the Deck.

Give yourself a chance to sleep well for the rest of your life. Do your job tonight on the 20-24, the mid and the rev watch. Don't be left there at the end of every day asking, "if only I had...."

The admirals that brought us the Littoral Combat Snip and gigantically worthless DDX, killed SWOS and there is probably nobody left in the fleet today who saw this little movie as a young Ensign (LT if you were a nuke) at SWOS before going to sea on their first ship as an officer. It's dull and boring until you get to the point where people start to die, in the dark, for no reason except incompetence at the hands of the Officer of the Deck and his Junior Officer of the Deck. It started to get more interesting.

As conning officer, I almost never ordered a turn in the Persian Gulf until I had gone to the affected bridge wing and looked and verified that the turning radius was clear. Dhows don't show up all that well, sometimes, on radar and almost never when they're in close. When I was driving from CIC I just made the turns. At 3 -5 knots, the lookouts and bridge officers had all the time in the world to react to anything I missed on the surface. Like that was going to happen....

Friday, November 3, 2017

SAD MODERN REALITY

I saw that once again thieves struck the home of people they knew would not be there. In this case, the thieves knew the homeowner was playing in the World Series and they could follow his location on their radio as they broke in. They had no fear of being surprised by an angry homeowner.

It was almost 6 years ago to the day that I was in Virginia visiting my parents when my father's first and oldest friend died suddenly. They had been born just a couple of days apart to two Army families at Fort Bragg. They were both class of '57 at West Point and roommates and despite one being Field Artillery and the other Armor, their careers brought both them and their families together over the next 50 years.

I expected to attend the funeral at Arlington but my father proposed a different locale and I kept vigil in his friend's home in McLean while he and his family were all gathered a final time at Arlington National Cemetary. It wasn't what I expected but it was an honor.

I had never considered that, of course thieves would come to rob the home of the people identified by the newspapers as being away at the funeral of a loved one. My life of crime never seems to have stooped that low and I had never heard of this practice in all the days of my life. Odd what is usually kept quiet and out of the news.

POST OBAMA

Obama is only now being recognized and credited for his single worthy achievement as President of the United States and leader of his party, to whit,

Democrats slowly realize Obama destroyed the party


Still, we have guidance for this specific kind of failure:

Thursday, November 2, 2017

JUDGE MULLS ORDERING FBI AND MUELLER TO SHUTUP

There's a certain irony in having a judge mull over a decision to order a gag for Manafort and the Mueller Inquisitors in the pending law suit against Manafort. As I understand it, absolutely everybody on Mueller's team is free to blab their heads off and do so without being held to account because that seems to be the way the Justice Department rolls these days but if Manafort or his legal team dare to attempt to put their side of the case in front of the public they are going to get slammed and sent to jail.

It's easier and easier to find the behavior of the Justice Department and the Courts is contemptible.

STIFLING TRUMP FOR FUN AND PROFIT AT TWITTER

I know there's a perfectly normal reason that the SJWs working at Twitter decided to emphasis their power over the freedom of speech by squelching President Trump's twitter account this evening. Way to go buffoons! If there was no impetus to push Twitter and facebook into forced breakup hearings in the government, this confirmed that bias exists in both twitter and facebook and that it is naturally destructive to democracy.

Way to go!

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

FILE SUIT FOR FUN AND PROFIT

Now is the time and here is the place.



If you are a white male you have undeniably been victimized by the casual racist, misandry, bigoted and sexist policies enacted by every layer of government in this country and in most of the fields of academic and business endeavor. Your input or participation is openly scorned and forbidden by official representatives of the government and the various colleges, universities and business and NGO's that do business in the United States.

The Democrats are not the only organization that openly discriminates in the most blatant and openly officious manner possible while expecting to get away with it like they're the incarnation of Roman Polanski or Harvey Weinstein and free to screw over white men with nary a hint of guilt, remorse or even a troubled conscience. They're like sharks.



In all honesty, just about every organization in America that hires or fires people tends to obsess first over the race and then the sex and ethnicity of their employees. Now the shoe is pinching the other foot. Just think of the fun you can have by using some of the enormous number of tools at your disposal such as nolo.com and cheaply and easily filing suits in the federal courts and with the EEOC. Hours of fun and making your leisure time productive, all while working at home!

Remember, if you don't exercise your federal rights they get all flabby and unsightly, so file early and file often!

Power to the People!

Monday, October 30, 2017

HIDING GEORGE WASHINGTON

The morons in charge of the episcopal church in Alexandria attended by our first President who was a member for over 20 years and to which he repaired every Sunday when he was in residence at Mount Vernon, have decided to throw out the plaque on their wall honoring his memory. They claim to have acted so because they are afraid slaves will object to honoring the Father of our Country because, slaves are like that. Evidently, you can take the man out of chains but you cannot take the slave out of the man, or some sort of gibberish like that was their apparent reason for acting like knaves and degenerates afraid of their shadows.

Plaque tossed by Episcopal Church in Alexandria
 President George Washington visited the first synagogue in the New World a long time ago. There is a special plaque to commemorate his visit to the Touro Synagogue which visitors can see when they visit. Somehow I doubt that they plan to remove or hide the plaque out of some idiotic sympathy for ignorant idiots who prattle on about history and yet retain a massive ignorance of the subject. The tour guide, as is usual with tour guides showing off a building or domicile that Washington visited or spent the night in, was delighted to show us this plaque and other objects from Washington's visit there.

The bigots in America would see this torn from the wall because George Washington

Oldest Synagogue in America

Washington's letter to the synagogue after the visit included, "The Government of the United States, which gives to bigotry no sanction, to persecution no assistance, requires only that they who live under its protection should demean themselves as good citizens in giving it on all occasions their effectual support."

The Little Lickspittles of the Episcopal Church are Invited to Hide This George Washington Commemorative!

UPDATE: It's easy to see why the Episcopal Church threw George Washington under the bus. You might have known it would be that easy. I wonder when they're planning to throw out Jesus Christ for being a man, semi-divine and the son of God. With them, it's just a matter of time and most of their peers are equally barking mad.





TRUTH IN THE WORDS

The words are from a splash of truth found at Breitbart in an article detailing some of the lengths to which some people of the right went in order to foil the idiotic protest of the Trump haters. I used to think that Bush Derangement Syndrome would/could never be matched and yet these new haters proved me wrong.
“But he is protesting a man that has traded a lavish billionaire lifestyle to try and fix the train wreck that has been building over the last 16 years. Just to have his whole family ridiculed. Made fun of. Called liars. Racists.”

When you look at President Trump in that light it's not hard to see why he really enjoys taking the time to mock the pathetic losers and shoot rockets up their asses with his tweets. He has it on solid evidence that doing this can make the heads of those haters literally explode. God only knows how many have stroked out or died of hate-fueled heart attacks in reaction to President Trump gently letting them know what contemptible little rats they are.


I have enjoyed President Trump's tussling with the usual crew of incompetents and idiots who let Jimmy Carter dictate our strategic policy and sent him to North Korea "to negotiate" a final solution to the issue of Nork nuclear weapons. I admire Trump for probably ordering the SS to shoot Carter if he gets on any international flight and revoked his passport in order to keep that simple chump from jetting off to Pyongyang and patting the newest ruler of the People's Democratic Republic of Korea on the head for cheerfully accepting $5,000,000,000 in direct cash assistance from us for a promise to do a better job of concealing his weapons of mass destruction programs and not letting the idiots at the New York Times find out that Carter's fumbling ambitions have once again resulted in a strategic catastrophe on a par with the Fall of the Shah and the Rise of Islamic Fascist State of Iran.

Thursday, October 26, 2017

OUT AND ABOUT

I just like this picture. Other people might put up a post about their new Subaru and how they felt the need for a little road trip to test it out, but not me. After all, it's not my Subaru, but should the DMV be wanting to have a quick word with the person who registered it yesterday and call, they'd be talking to me. I gave them my number.

Lake Saint Clair Never Looked Like This, Ever

Wednesday, October 25, 2017

ANTI-GRAMMARIAN SMART CUP

The dude at Maggies Farm makes some excellent points. I am guilty of hasty writing and indeed I make some of the mistakes due to carelessness not because I'm fu$Cing stupid. I just type too fast and my brain can't keep up with my flying fingers of prose.

Still, it's a nice cup. I should get one but I don't kneed one.


AND FINALLY THE MURK BEGINS TO CLEAR

It appears that the House is finally ready to man up and investigate the Hillary and Bill Clinton Corruption Foundation with a special focus on the Uranium fleecing of America.

All I can say is that it's about time those dummies started to get to work on the issues that they were elected to carry out in the People's Name.

TO ABSOLUTELY NOBODY'S SURPRISE

Who didn't think this was how Fusion GPS was funded and pointed in the proper direction?


It's exactly like all the out and out fascism going on, it's all being carried out by the militant left who have all agreed that nobody but them have any rights at all and certainly don't deserve any consideration. They're also the ones that tend to find threatening bananas, slippery dangerous looking bits of loose string and other imminent signs of a klan lynching in action. It's the new String Theory of Violent fASScism and its found on just about every liberal progressive college campus in America.

Sunday, October 22, 2017

"NICE LOOKING SHOTGUN",



said the main-stream news expert on firearms. Srsly, they have powers of observation frequently observed in blades of grass. One has to wonder if they ever report anything factual, truthful or honest. All of them somehow failed to notice that Hollywood is run by powerful men who hold the power of fame and stardom in their pants and have never done anything but gush about the bare minimum actresses adorn themselves with clotheswise while carefully never mentioning how the rich and powerful moguls always seem to have some young starlet on their arm at all those Hollywood self-congratulatory celebrations where they give each other prizes for some fairly dismal performances.

Wouldn't you think there would be some years in the history books where they got together and decided absolutely nothing at all that year measured up to the standards set by winning films and artists in previous years? Yeah, it would never occur to them to wonder. They lost their sense of wonder the first time somebody took them aside to explain why that actress kept saying such nice things about that producer even though it was widely known that he was a rapist.

I see Mark Steyn in now enjoying his sixth year with the DC Courts as he waits for them to get moving on the case launched against him by that titan of mistruth and misdirection, Mann. I don't know that the wheels of justice turn at all anymore in this country unless they are well lubricated with the blood of innocent, but poverty stricken defendants, who could not get out of the way fast enough when the law came knocking.

Watching the dismal show of some of the most venal self-serving chief lawmen to ever live in this country while they "investigate" Russian collusion with the Trump campaign even though they winked at and totally ignored the total corruption of the democrats and the Clintons in the Uranium fiasco is getting hard to tolerate anymore. I think Comey, Mueller, Rosenstein and all their loyal assistants need to be rounded up and confined for a very long time for fraud and abuse of a public animal. God knows they've disgraced the donkey that hired them and they are totally failing to kick the ass they're investigating. What a pathetic herd of scum.

We used to be better than this.

I daresay most of you have noticed that the picture above contains no shotguns. Or, as CBS would have it, 'it's clearly a bolt action automatic shotgun.'

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

THE UNIVERSAL REVOLT

Every now and then I run across the tatters of the old universe and it strikes a chord. Today I read that some Congressional democrats have declared that hi-capacity magazines kill people. I was touched by their concern and their obvious intelligence as they quickly concluded that the best way to save lives is to banish hi-capacity magazines because that's what they do. In the same vein, they might consider liquidating everyone over the age of 18 since older people do most of the killing.

In a similar vein, I ran across the People's Radio today and their show with Mike, the AG from Mississippi, a state that would otherwise never trouble to pass the lips or indeed the thoughts of a true liberal progressive democrat so lost to modern democracy is it that even the cows reliably vote rethuglican. Mike, the guy who was the very first to launch the anti-smoking campaign, sued big tobacco and won, sort of. Instead of outright declaring tobacco illegal like everything else, the government and the lawyers decided to milk it for the money that was in selling a product to the addicted. They are no different from pushers. They'll use the revenues for good, they said.

Mike has a new campaign and is launching a war on the makers of pain medication and doctors who write prescriptions for people in serious pain. Mike thinks we can make opioids just as safe and legal and rare as abortion, or something like that. Man sounded like a complete lunatic as he declared war on the number one, in big pharma, to make and market Oxycontin and who now sells a whopping 2% of the total number sold. Mike is devoted to ending the opioid epidemic-in which ruthless bloodsuckers and their lawyers make a sort of opioid, add lethal amounts of fentanyl and sell it to poor white trash too stupid and ignorant to know that it's going to kill them.

Amazingly, no addict can even tell if what he's injecting is the lethal drug on the right or the drug on the left

I was left to wonder why nobody made the observation that it wasn't the doctors or the drug companies that were selling the illegal crap, it was real scum of the earth types that the liberal progressives are busting their humps to let out of jail and never send to jail because there's nothing wrong with selling drugs and we should just legalize them and let the sellers sell what the want or what they can make.

I have several problems with all that. When government gets involved and things promptly go in the sewer or, as in Flint, in the potable water, nobody is ever held accountable. Let's just look at the Federal assault on a religious sect in Waco all those years ago. Biggest mass killing in America since the Indian Wars and yet nobody was punished or found at fault or fired or anything. Ditto the EPA fiasco where they blew a hole in a cofferdam and killed a river. Nobody was fired or disciplined or punished. Look at AMTRAK. They sell burgers at $10.00 a pop and still lose $10,000,000,000. There is now loose talk about creating a non-profit like AMTRAK to take over the running, staffing and management of the US Air Traffic Control System. That's right you are thinking, you're gonna work out some other way to get there rather than fly.

I really don't think we can afford to let these idiots mess with our water, our energy, our vital fluids, our drugs or our air traffic control. At any rate, as I thought about the ridiculous depths of this day I was reminded of that great radio show and yes! They are talking about making a 6th radio episode with the original cast back as Arthur Dent, Ford Prefect and Zaphod Beeblebrox. I'm not sure about Trillian.

Cast your minds into the past and read:

NARRATOR:
’The Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’ has this to say about the planet of Golgafrincham: It is a planet with an ancient and mysterious history, in which the most mysterious figures of all are, without doubt, those of the Great Circling poets of Arium. These Circling Poets used to live in remote mountain passes where they would lie and wait for small bands of unwary travellers, circle round them, and throw rocks at them. And when the travellers cried out saying ‘why didn’t they go away and get on with writing some poems instead of pestering people with all this rock-throwing business,’ they would suddenly break off and sing them an incredibly long and beautiful song - in which they told of how there once went forth, from the City of Vassillian, a party of five sage princes with four horses. The first part of the song tells how these five sage princes - who are, of course, brave, noble, and wise - travel widely in distant lands, fight giant ogres, pursue exotic philosophies, take tea with weird gods, and rescue beautiful monsters from ravening princesses, before finally announcing that they have achieved enlightenment and that their wanderings are therefore accomplished. The second, and much longer part, tells of all their bickerings about which one of them is going to have to walk back. It was, of course, a descendent of these eccentric poets who invented this curious tale of impending doom which enabled the people of Golgafrincham to rid themselves of an entire useless third of their population. The other two-thirds, of course, stayed at home and lived full, rich, and happy lives until they were all suddenly wiped out by a virulent disease contracted from a dirty telephone. Meanwhile, Arthur Dent, Ford Prefect, and an Ark-load of frozen middle management men have crashed into the prehistoric dawn of a small, blue-green planet circling an unregarded yellow sun at the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral Arm of the Galaxy. After a year or so they convene a meeting to consider their position, which is not, on the whole, good…

CHAIRMAN:
Listen! I would like to call to order the five-hundred-and-seventy-third meeting of the colonization committee of the planet of Fintlewoodlewix. And furthermore -

FORD:
Oh this is futile! Five-hundred-and-seventy-three committee meetings and you haven’t even discovered fire yet!

MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT:
If you would care to look at the agenda sheet -

GUY:
Agenda rock, yes…

FORD:
Oh, go on back home or something will ya?

MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT:
…you will see that we are about to have a report from the hairdressers fire development subcommittee today.

HAIRDRESSER:
That’s me.

FORD:
Yeah well you know what they’ve done don’t you? You gave them a couple of sticks and they’ve gone and developed them in to a pair of bloody scissors!

MARKETING GIRL:
When you have been in marketing as long as I have, you’ll know that before any new product can be developed, it has to be properly researched. I mean yes, yes we’ve got to find out what people want from fire, I mean how do they relate to it, the image -

FORD:
Oh, stick it up your nose.

MARKETING GIRL:
Yes which is precisely the sort of thing we need to know, I mean do people want fire that can be fitted nasally.

CHAIRMAN:
Yes, and, and, and the wheel. What about this wheel thingy? Sounds a terribly interesting project to me.

MARKETING GIRL:
Er, yeah, well we’re having a little, er, difficulty here…

FORD:
Difficulty?! It’s the single simplest machine in the entire universe!

MARKETING GIRL:
Well alright mister wise guy, if you’re so clever you tell us what colour it should be!

FORD:
Oh Mighty Zarquon! Has no-one done anything?

MARKETING GIRL:
And of course Finlon the producer has rescued a camera from the wreckage of the ship and is making a fascinating documentary on the indigenous cavemen of the area.

FORD:
Oh yes, and they’re dying out, have you noticed that?

MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT:
Yes we must make a note sir to stop selling them life insurance.

FORD:
But don’t you understand? Just since we’ve arrived they’ve started dying out.

MARKETING GIRL:
Yes! Yes! And this comes over terribly well in the film that he’s making. I gather that he wants to, eh, make a documentary about you next captain.

CAPTAIN:
What? Oh. Oh really? That’s awfully nice.

MARKETING GIRL:
Oh, he’s got a very strong angle on it: you know the burden of responsibility, the loneliness of command…

CAPTAIN:
Ah well I wouldn’t overstress that angle you know, I mean one’s never alone with a rubber duck…

MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT:
Er, sir, er, skipper?

CAPTAIN:
Want a squeeze, eh?

MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT:
Um listen, if we could, er, for a moment move on to the subject of fiscal policy -

FORD:
”Fiscal Policy”?!

MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT:
Yes.

FORD:
How can you have money if none of you actually produce anything? It doesn’t grow on trees you know!

MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT:
You know If you would allow me to continue!

CAPTAIN:
Yes let him to continue.

MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT:
Since we decided a few weeks ago to adopt leaves as legal tender, we have, of course all become immensely rich.

FORD:
No really? Really?

CROWD MEMBERS:
Yes, very good move…

MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT:
But, we have also run into a small inflation problem on account of the high level of leaf availability. Which means that I gather the current going rate has something like three major deciduous forests buying one ship’s peanut. So, um, in order to obviate this problem and effectively revalue the leaf, we are about to embark on an extensive defoliation campaign, and um, burn down all the forests. I think that’s a sensible move don’t you?

MARKETING GIRL:
That makes economic sense.

[Murmurs of agreement from crowd]

FORD:
[Yells] You’re absolutely barmy! You’ve a bunch of raving nutters!