ULTRA SPIRITUAL REMINDER

I caught a less serious one of JP'S inspirational videos at somewhere tonight but I like this one better.



They are wonderful sincere send ups of some of the things that irritate the hell out of normal people and I write that after living on and off in SOCAL for 30 years.

CRITICAL MEASUREMENT

I laughed out loud at this one from Last of the Few. It burns, oh how it burns.

INTERVIEW WITH A LOBSTER

This is an interesting and amusing conversation that I found well worth watching. The lobster memes were the funniest.

Almost every one of his statements or observations was met by her replying, "...what you're saying is..." and then something most unlike what he had, in fact, said.

A PRESIDENTIAL KNIFE FIGHT RUNDOWN

Found this tonight at instapundit but here is the link to the story, An amazing look at presidential combat. If you enjoy the world of maybe, this guy has a pretty funny rundown on how a mass presidential knife fight would play out in the coliseum.

In a Mass Knife Fight to the Death Between Every American President, Who Would Win and Why?

To begin, here were the original conditions of the hypothetical, as suggested by the redditor Xineph: Every president is in the best physical and mental condition they were ever in throughout the course of their presidency. Fatal maladies have been cured, but any lifelong conditions or chronic illnesses (e.g. FDR’s polio) remain.
Each president has been given one standard-issue Gerber LHR Combat Knife. Assume the presidents have no training outside any combat experiences they may have had in their own lives. 

There is no penalty for avoiding combat for an extended period of time. Hiding and/or playing dead could be valid strategies, but there can be only one winner.
Each president will be deposited in the arena regardless of their own will to fight, however, personal ethics, leadership ability, tactical expertise etc., should all be taken into account. Alliances are allowed. 

With the scenario set, here’s my take on it: 

1) George Washington – Commanding presence, strong physique, military training, viewed as a hero by everyone asked to shank him: He makes Top 10 without question. Of the guaranteed top three (I’m going to call them the Holy Trinity for the purposes of this rambling rundown), my money is on Jackson being the one who murders him; he wouldn’t blink, either. They were closer in age, and the hero myth wouldn’t be quite as firmly set. Besides, I’m pretty sure Jackson didn’t blink when he sneezed… 

2) John Adams is going out early. Nothing against the man, but portly well-spoken lawyers bring lampoons to a knife fight. It doesn’t end well. 

3) Thomas Jefferson. I’d like to say he’d make a good show of it, but he was a bit of dandy… Middle of the pack, but his dying words would be incredibly quotable. 

7) Andrew Jackson –It’s already been said: The man’s nickname was Old Hickory because he walked around town with a bludgeon that to the untrained eye was a walking stick. A man who can beat a would-be assassin within an inch of his life with a cane is going to be a murder machine when provided with an implement designed to end a man’s life. I think of the Top Three he’d be reckless enough to go down first, but he’d also probably have the highest overall kill count. 

13) Millard Fillmore. Let’s be honest: Weak character, unmemorable fellow, a little stout all his life, boring. No part of this guy suggests he’s going to come out well. Dead early, and only the presidents alive during his lifetime are even going to know whose corpse they keep tripping over. 

19) Rutherford B. Hayes was wounded five times in the Civil War. He was a big guy, and he didn’t lack for courage. That said, he was a bit of a straight shooter and more than a little bit of a straight arrow: Principles can get in the way of winning in a knife fight. Also, that beard is begging someone to take it in their fist and throw him off balance. I see him making the later half of the scrap, but not the Top 10 unless he catches a lucky break. 

27) William Howard Taft. What did that man look like in his prime? I suspect even at his most physically fit he could go toe to toe with the stereotypical 21st Century Wal-Mart patron. I just don’t think he was ever healthy enough to make a good showing in this arena. Dead early, and his corpse might well be used as a low wall or some sort of artificial hill to lend advantage to his conquerors. 

45) Donald J. Trump will be tremendous in a knife fight to the death. Everyone says so. Believe me. People say that all the time. Lots of people. Winners. The rumour that his hands are too small to even hold a knife is just fake news. Very bad. You can’t listen to that. Trump is high energy, not like those loser presidents. Even when you hear he’s been stabbed over and over and over again, that’s just Alt-Facts. Sad! The truth is, Trump is going to make knife fights great again. Big League!

We laughed out loud as we read it aloud. Read the whole thing. It's worth a couple of minutes.

ORDER OF THE DAY

I'm done. Fed up with "he touched me" stories from decades ago.

It really truly is the Salem witch again and again. At some point, we'll go back to Amerika and civilization and safe spaces will once again be a place where a little girl named Anne lived until the real, no kidding, nazis came to kill her and her family.

I'm so tired of the fake nazis. Doesn't mean I want real nazis.

SAVE THE DARK

Act now before the whole world is bathed in the actinic light of a trillion LEDs!

It's not too late to save it, all you have to do is stop lighting the dark.

North Korea is leading the charge on this new front in war on global science and darkness.

PRICELESS

This wonderful story is absolutely fantastic and made my day. Read the whole story. It's a hoot.

Thanks to a little-noticed auction sale, a South Bay couple are the proud owners
of one of the most exclusive streets in San Francisco — and they’re looking for
ways to make their purchase pay.  

Tina Lam and Michael Cheng snatched up Presidio Terrace — the block-long,
private oval street lined by 35 megamillion-dollar mansions — for $90,000 and
change in a city-run auction stemming from an unpaid tax bill. They outlasted
several other bidders.  

Now they’re looking to cash in — maybe by charging the residents of those
mansions to park on their own private street. 

 Those residents value their privacy — and their exclusivity. Past homeowners
have included Sen. Dianne Feinstein and her financier husband, Richard Blum;
House Democratic leader Nancy Pelosi; and the late Mayor Joseph Alioto. A
guard is stationed round the clock at the stone-gate entrance to the street to keep
the curious away.  

So imagine the residents’ surprise when San Jose residents Cheng and Lam wound
up with the street, its sidewalks and every other bit of “common ground” in the
private development that has been managed by the homeowners since at least
1905. That includes a string of well-coiffed garden islands, palm trees and other
greenery that enhance the gated and guarded community at the end of Washington
Street, just off Arguello Boulevard and down the hill from the Presidio.

 Did you ever wonder how all these democrats who spent a lifetime in 'pubic service' always seem to end up worth millions and are the dominant fat cats in every municipal puddle? We should pass a law forbidding them to own houses worth more than their annual salary and limit that to no more than $100,000/year and we should also forbid them to own guns or speak in public. I mean, why not do to them what they do to us?

UPDATE:
Doesn't your heart just bleed for them? Look at their neighbors, the Little Sisters of the Poor and the Presidio Golf Club.

BACK TO SCHOOL

The nicest parents send their tots to school with one of these.

Hurry, there are only 5 left in stock at Amazon

FAST FOOD STRIKE FORCE

We have all heard of the woes of Chipotle and the repeated outbreaks of food borne illnesses from that chain of weight loss clinics masquerading as fast food outlets. Have you ever wondered why they keep getting hit with repeated bouts of e-coli, norovirus, lysteria, etc? Perhaps there is a former nuclear missile command site, long abandoned in North Dakota and one of Chipotle's enemy franchises is waging war on it's competitors.

The suspicious killer outbreaks of e-coli at Jack in the Box, the Chipotle disaster, Whole Foods ready to eat food?  All of them were targeted by the FFSF. Fast Food Strike Force operatives got themselves hired at each of the enemy food stores and then dosed themselves with everything from norovirus to typhus and cheerfully went to work everyday and never washed their hands. Ever.

Little surprise then that some food store chains are surprisingly untouched by loathsome food borne diseases and others are hit again and again. It's the armegeddon of food wars and you don't even see it happening except that the casualties keep showing up in hospitals all over America.

SHARKS AREN'T EVIL

Cheerfully stolen from 90 miles from tyranny

UPDATE: They're dropping dead all over the place.

THIS WAS JUST FUNNY

ALMOST LIKE SCIENCE

Every time I think that the the whole universe (2 trillion galaxies) cannot get weirder, it gets weirder. What can one say about the nature of the magicians? Yes, a liberal student rejects science because it discriminates against witchcraft.

She talks pretty fast though.

AMAZON PRIME

Amazon is no longer honoring it's 2 day free delivery since it teamed with the USPS which is a shame but it still has some things that can surprise us. I got a promotional from them that talked about their free book reading service and I went to it and found one book that I treasure. I have too little Calvin and Hobbes in my life and I used to own the megabook of them all. Nowadays I just get my hair cut at the same clip shop that Bill Waterson uses to get his hair cut. We say hi to each other and I might mention whatever special is going on at the Smithsonian.

If you're an Amazon Prime kind of person, you should find the free books and download The Essential Calvin and Hobbes. It's free......and essential.

A FAMILIAR PATTER

Courtesy of gCaptain.

These sorts of things are amusing to those of us who listened to the patter of 'expert' staff who talked about destroying a fully functioning object and converting it into something else that would be almost as effective at ten times the cost. It also sounds like the kind of training one needs if one works at State Department as they try to explain and justify actions that, on the face of them, are simply incomprehensible unlesss you accept the premise that they were designed to weaken America.

We really need to do something about weeding all the marxists, socialists, SJWs and communists out of the State Department. Lederer's book, The Ugly American, was spot on when it was published 58 years ago and applies even more ferociously today.

HUMANS AND ZOMBIES

Spotted at the local U.

I particularly liked the bit about free food.

FROM THE CAVE

I can't recall where I saw this but I have enjoyed Achmed since his debut. This was how he used to open the act on tour. I really enjoyed the script scrolling across. It took me awhile to understand it.

DIABOLICAL

The people who declared war on a man who won 10% of the votes for President of the Science Fiction Writers Association who then threw him bodily out of the organization, must surely regret being such intolerant, bigoted, hate-filled, idiots. Everything they did to him, he promised, would rebound on them and he hasn't even begun to sue them yet.

This afternoon the Hugo Awards for this year were announced and he swept a number of the awards again; just like last year, which resulted in an enormous black eye for the writer-knights who think of themselves as true fans.  It reminded me of this old movie gem about one man taking on a whole world.

He may not be the smartest guy, but he's smarter then they are. I suspect the ones who manipulated the system against him really regret being such bigots and racists. As he demonstrated again this year, two can play that game.

THE RICH VEINS OF ANTHROPOLOGIC SCIENCE

I just saw this at my sister's place and it's always worth swiping reposting.

If only there had been adults in the room when Al Gore undertook to destroy the scientific method in the 21st century and wage war on science. It's amazing to me that sincere people like Bill Nye want to criminalize failure to believe that man is responsible for global warming.

ODE TO JOY with zombies

Notification at Bayou Renaissanceman of a comic strip we all liked to death.

NYT HUMOR

It claims to be an Op Ed from the New York Times but since it is well written, pokes fun at the bastions of decivilization so dear to the hearts of New Yorkers, I suspect it's a trap!

But over recent years, Stanford administrators noticed that as the school rejected more and more comers, it received bigger and bigger donations, its endowment rising in tandem with its exclusivity, its luster a magnet for Silicon Valley lucre. 

In fact just 12 hours after the university’s rejection of all comers, an alumnus stepped forward with a financial gift prodigious enough for Stanford to begin construction on its long-planned Center for Social Justice, a first-ever collaboration of Renzo Piano and Santiago Calatrava, who also designed the pedestrian bridge that will connect it to the student napping meadows.

As undergrads, we had to nap in a swamp where I went to school. We were told we didn't deserve meadows.