Wednesday, September 10, 2014

JUST SHOOT HIM

From the local police blotter after we got back and learned that our neighbors had all been robbed.
A clerk at the BP station on Larchmere Blvd. reported that a Black male, approximately six foot one, wearing a black hoodie and black pants entered the store with a handgun.The suspect proceeded to take $125 in cash and $280 in lottery tickets from the business and $272 in cash from a customer inside of the store. The suspect then fled the scene. The investigation is ongoing.
It's a fashion statement that should be augmented by a hint of plumbum in the head. I keep seeing cities passing local ordinances banning saggy pants but I've never heard of a single city or town that thought banning mugger costumes was an appropriate way to spend time at city council meetings. I wonder why it never seems to come up.

Neither condition is really a fashion statement so much as it is a shoutout that screams to the world that yes, yes you are in fact too damned stupid to pull your pants up over your knees and that you're a criminal suspect looking for the next scene of the crime. I've never understood the narrow philosophy that insists that it's no crime to dress like a mugger on the one hand and yet passionately hate being treated like a criminal simply because one looks like a criminal on the other hand.

I'm no fashion maven or clothes horse myself. 30 years in Southern California and a lifetime before that racing sailboats left me addicted to wearing shorts, sandals, ball caps, sunglasses and T-shirts. With sandals. 30 years of wearing a uniform always meant changing when I got home. That used to mean a hot tub on the back patio but the definition always included shorts, t-shirt and sunglasses.


There is one guy in the picture who managed to wear a hoodie. Guess which one started a towering bonfire one night right off the coast of Iraq. Go on, guess. He is standing right next to the admiral. When I was choosing my team for this op, the CSO said no girls. After reflecting on it for a microsecond, I saw his point.

3 comments:

Buck said...

... left me addicted to wearing shorts, sandals, ball caps, sunglasses and T-shirts.

Substitute Levis for shorts and boat shoes for sandals and you have my everyday ensemble.

"Lead to the head!" sounds like an urban battle cry. Of sorts.

virgil xenophon said...

et tu, Buck? I'm a shorts guy, but alternate w. boat shoes & sandals, lol..

HMS Defiant said...

I wore topsiders until I was 24. I wore them briefly in the Gulf with pirate uniform but never after that. I can still wear sandals but I cannot wear boat shoes anymore. I'm going to wear sandals until blood runs. I'm not giving up on them.