Friday, January 2, 2015


I spent the holidays at my parents house in Virginia where I was asked to perform a few minor repairs using the tools at hand. In the first of my tasks, I was asked to install some towel racks and the tool I used was this:

You might have to embiggen the picture to see what I did. It is, in fact, a metal case with a power cord inspired by Edward Scissor Hands and no ground plug. Why yes, it was used by Pericles after it turned up in Egypt where it was used in building the Sphinx.

It is the single most scary tool I have ever used. Cannons were once labeled with Ultima Ratio Regum. This thing simply shrieks, Electrocution. My father says it dates from 1940.


  1. You're a braver man than I am Gunga Din - of which, there is no argument…

    Yours Aye.

    1. You have seen it. As I recall, at the time this was crafted we were gifting you lot with Matildas. That was a shitty thing to do but it was the best we had at the time.