Thursday, January 16, 2014

STUCK ON STUPID

The Air Force fired their Commanding General for liking women, wine and cigars and now they are investigating all of the nuclear launch crews because narcotics. In their narcotics investigation the investigators naturally decided to look at the crew's text messages because drugs are notorious for turning up in text messages and found that the crews were sharing answers in a cooperative teamwork environment and so the Air Force has sacked 34 of its 190 launch crew personnel.

You know what that means right? That means that the remaining guys left now have to stretch to cover the missed watches and duties of those being punished. ALL MUST SUFFER! Enjoy that week living in a hole in the ground? Have another!

I can see the new Commanding General taking over this nightmare command. Be there as he issues his very first order to the security force guarding the nation's nuclear strategic missiles: "Open fire on any and all investigators. Shoot any survivors."

Do you suppose any of the remaining crews are wondering if they should pull back and nuke the place from orbit? Just to be sure...
What could go wrong?

2 comments:

virgil xenophon said...

Wrongo. It's "What could EVER, POSSIBLY go wrong?

HMS Defiant said...

When the astronauts climbed on top of those rockets I didn't wonder if they were crazy. I was too young. As I got older though I had to wonder what made them or the rest of the test pilots do the totally ridiculous things they did. Sure, the need for speed and to be the first but after you ran out of firsts what next? As Lex would say, it was liking trying to tie the altitude record for lowest flight. The percentages just weren't in the long game. "When reporters asked Shepard what he thought about as he sat atop the Redstone rocket, waiting for liftoff, he had replied, 'The fact that every part of this ship was built by the low bidder.'"[7] It's not like that anymore and probably wasn't then either. I'm sure NASA was buying at SUBSAFE levels as soon as they heard about it from Rickover.