She comes u[ o me in an non waking state and she touches my arm. It takes a while to get here. One tends to go into memory. That's what my books are for. The other books are special. I could not do them ever. I draw with words and she draws wtih pictures. I need to look at quarry now. It's somewhere on the planet. I'll find it.
and oh, I meant to do that. I write this thing for an olderish girl now who will never see it. I leak hope like a rusty submarine. I'll stop when it fills with water. Till then? I can hope.
I still dream on a regular basis, of a young woman I last saw 24 years ago, and am still in love with. I wish I could stop, but I know i never will. It is a vexing thing when you find the one woman for you, and she turns out, from having been married to an abuser for nine years, prior to divorcing him, to no longer being entirely sane.ReplyDelete
The abuser was 10 years older than she, and last I heard, she had gotten married, to a guy ten years older than herself.
While I fervently wish I could see her again, i am rational to know this can never be. The Corinne that lives in my heart is an idealized one, from a quarter century ago. That woman does not exist, and cannot be expected to. But I do miss her ever so much. Badgers are tough, but having a void in your heart is uncomfortable.
Your post about Angel of the Morning brought her back to the front of my mind, as Corinne and Juice Newton were both built to the same set of plans. Ah, well, Badgers are meant to be loners, so it was probably for the best.
Oddly enough, I'm a happy well adjusted guy striding into his 60s with a bit of a limp. I got very lucky in my midage and found a girl I can happily live with for the rest of my life.Delete
When I talk about the girl, she is always not quite five. That's when she left. I used to visit even if it meant flying to Texas or Oregon or Washington but for years I've let that lapse. I still love her very much but in the last 12 years she has never written me a letter or an email and it goes without saying, she has never called.
You made me think again. Which is a good thing. Cherish the memories.
I've been thinking about this post all day Cap'n. Any chance you'll be in the DC area the weekend of 17-18 August. A gathering of Lexicans is planned, would love to see you there. Share an adult beverage and shoot the breeze for a while. I still remember meeting you in Sandy Eggo.ReplyDelete
Yes, I think so. I could use some details though. I still remember a handfull of good places and I have help if the memory lapses.Delete
I remember the last time we shared a drink, you, me, Tuna and Pam. It was good.
Right now just the date is set. Once I get the venue I'll let you know.Delete
I pray that you never run out of hope, and firmly believe that someday she will understand the love, and she'll become courageous enough to acknowledge it...ReplyDelete