THE GREAT CHAIN

The National Park Police are moving today to install the Hudson River Chain across the Hudson River at West Point, New York. The president has decided that due to the ongoing shut down of 13% of the federal government, all commerce and other traffic on the Hudson must be forbidden until further notice because Safety.

Police are currently rummaging around for the other 1600 feet of chain that appears to be missing even though the government has paid $574,000,000 over the last 219 years to keep it in storage in case it was ever needed as a river denial system.