HOW I GOT A CELL PHONE

I was an expectant dad and thought it would be nice of me to appear around the same time Scooter did. It had to work in Canada because my job had me there for some time buying boats for the navy. I'm looking at alternative services to Verizon who bills me every week or two and it suddenly struck me. I no longer need or want a cell phone. I spent most of my life not answering phones and I can do it again. It is funny to me how Verizon has been diminishing their service to me to the point where it takes an hour or two to load a map. I'm not that guy in front of you on the plane landing in Las Vegas who instantaneously downloads 57 videos from his pals and streams them as he walks off the plane. Funny, Verizon turned my face away from cell phones despite all their attempts to get me to buy a thousand dollar phone.