My dad took me aside when I was commissioned, by him, and gave me some perfectly good advice. I would recommend it to anybody seeking a commission in our armed forces.
1. Don't ever measure yourself against your peers.
2. Always just do the very best job that you can do.
Worked for me. Making Flag is a personal ambition that I never had. That's a fire that must burn within from the time one is an Ensign. That is all 'contacts', and 'perfect jobs', and schmoozing and there are people to whom this comes naturally. Not me, not grandad.
I was certifiably ruthless until I got married, 22 years into a navy sort of career. The ruthless got a tweak at that point.