Friday, April 15, 2016

DEAR COMRADE

The STATE has accepted your new provisions on membership in the Great Proletariat of the Future! You along with all your peers have been approved for accelerated entry into the 14th Century diaspora as envisioned by YOU and YOUR PEERS! CONGRATULATIONS!

As a result of your dedicated advocacy of living a frugal and carbon free existence from now until the end of the world, you have been selected by your friends and neighbors as one of the dullumati and as such are entitled to rent and utility free living in a cave in the nearest gorge to your house! You must move yourself and all your belongings sans truck or any vehicle with an internal combustion engine or anything not directly powered by wind or solar power. (No horses need apply, they're hayburners and as such, fossil fueled).

Move as expeditiously as you want. No hurry. You have 24 hours to complete your move to the cave and after that, all your material possessions will be recycled by the people that actually bought them for you.

With this enviable rent/utility free living credit come a few minor inconveniences that you probably didn't really think applied to people like you.

1. No more electricity unless you make it yourself
2. No more travel unless you really like walking
3. No more air travel.
4. No more internet. (fossil fueled servers are the avatars of the new darkness, you say)
5. No more hot baths or showers (hot water is a scarce commodity in the land of no power)
6. It necessarily follows that you'll wear fur or homespun from now until you die.
7. No more TV.

But, the STATE thanks you for advocating the end to civilization. Keep up the good work! We can't end civilization as we know it without YOUR SUPPORT!

2 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Maybe even this year. A place without toilet paper is no place to go.

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